This poem is about solitude, It was written while I was suffering with serious insomnia. I started going for long walks when I couldn’t sleep, often wandering deep into the countryside in the early hours. This behaviour was more extreme during a full moon and I began to feel attuned to the phases, I think it may have been a mild form of lunacy. I was no danger to anyone, I just wanted to be away from it all.
Black grass lapping at my feet,
Thinking now of what to seek
In the shadows of the night
With nothing else but starlight
And secret sounds of hidden life
That chatter beyond sight.Pregnant lunar fills my eyes,
Fills me up & makes me blind,
Carries me so far from home,
Begs for me to walk alone
And see everything I haven’t done
With everything I’ve known.The darkness feels like bitumen,
Smothering my acumen,
Summoning the grip of fear
As sentient shadows appear,
Ghosts that come to warn me
The danger is unclear.Black thorns bite into my skin,
Thinking, now I cannot win,
In the cradle of the night
With nothing left to write
And see everything I would have
From far beyond my sight.
Sometimes I would spend the entire night tortured by my own thoughts and return dirty and exhausted. On some occasions it was not as bad, I would find a quiet place to rest and finally fall asleep under the stars. My insomnia has faded now and I am so grateful and happy to be sleeping well. I have a great love for the moon, but I try to avoid paying too much attention in case I become enthralled once more. We need good sleep to help us process our thoughts and experiences and losing too much sleep can push us toward madness.
The Truth About Shadows 